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Daniel Erichsen

Nov 17
Love0

Why Sleep Won’t Come: The Hidden Trap of Active Waiting

By effortless sleep, insomnia

A week ago, a student shared something with me that comes up regularly. He had come a long way in leaving the insomnia struggle in all regards except one: he wasn’t sleeping more.

He was no longer worried or anxious. He wasn’t taking supplements, listening to meditation tapes, or trying to force sleep in any way. He was no longer limiting his days, and was living a rich, fulfilling life.

The reason his nights were still unsettled? As surprising as it may sound, waiting for sleep to return can become the reason it doesn’t.

It all comes down to intent.

Less worry, living freely, and stepping away from efforts to control what can’t be controlled—these are wonderful shifts on their own. They’re deeply meaningful. But here’s the tricky part:

When we hear stories of someone who learned, practiced courage, let go of struggle, and then naturally found themselves sleeping more, it can accidentally create the impression that we’ve discovered a prescription for sleep:

Worry less. Live more. Drop efforts. Then sleep will happen.

So when all those boxes have been checked—when we believe the “prescription” is complete—we start waiting for sleep to kick in.

This is when the waiting game begins.

We’ve fulfilled all the requirements, and now we anticipate that sleep should follow. We watch. We monitor. We quietly hope. We wait.

But sleep has such a passive nature that the very act of waiting—of anticipating its arrival—creates a level of arousal that keeps us awake.

This can be confusing. We aren’t struggling. We aren’t fearful. We aren’t trying to control sleep. We’ve done everything “right.”  So why aren’t we sleeping more? Are we a unique case after all?

No. We’re just actively waiting.

Which brings us to a subtle but important point: “waiting” can mean two very different things.

Sometimes students say that after they stopped worrying and left the struggle, they just “waited,” and eventually sleep followed. But in those moments, “waiting” simply meant that time passed. They were just living—doing things that were important to them, showing up for their days, and letting life move forward naturally. There was no tracking, no prediction, no expectation.

Active waiting, on the other hand—keeping an eye on the clock, monitoring how long it’s been, trying to forecast when sleep will return—that is the waiting game. And that is what keeps sleep at arm’s length.

And, as so often happens in this world, simply understanding what has been happening can lead to change.

When we see the value of being less worried and living freely for its own sake—not as a strategy to make sleep happen—we naturally stop watching for sleep. We stop checking the timeline. We stop anticipating.

And we start living.

Just living. Doing things that are important to us. And here’s the beautiful part: you are no longer waiting when you are busy living your life—meeting friends, pursuing hobbies, being with your family, creating, and doing the things that matter deeply to you.

In that space, there is no monitoring. No timeline. No waiting. And when the waiting game ends, peaceful sleep begins to find its way back on its own.

Oct 27
Love0

When Will My Insomnia End? Realizing Recovery Is Not Measured in Time

By Common Insomnia Questions, effortless sleep, insomnia, insomnia treatment

If you’re a high-achieving professional who thrives on schedules, deadlines, and measurable results, you probably expect the same logic to apply to sleep. Yet if you struggle with chronic insomnia, you’ve likely discovered the frustrating truth: no matter how much you achieve during the day, restful sleep often remains elusive. You’ve done everything right… except understand sleep.

A Moment of Insight

During a coaching call with one of our Sleep Coach School trainees, she paused and shared a simple but powerful insight: “Recovery is not measured in time.”

For adults who overthink and overachieve, this idea can feel almost radical. We naturally track progress in hours, days, or weeks — at work, at the gym, in every project we manage. But sleep is different. It is automatic and effortless, and the more we try to control it, the more it resists.

The Timeless Way

What do you measure in units of time in your life? Seconds, hours, weeks, years — the list is endless.

Maybe it’s been two years since your last oil change, or you add 15 seconds to the microwave to get your popcorn juuuust right. Measuring time helps us manage daily life. So why not apply it to insomnia recovery?

Because sleep struggles come from pressure. Insomnia arises when we try to force sleep — and setting timelines only adds to that pressure. When we say, “My goal is to be over insomnia in two months,” we start tracking, comparing, and trying harder when we feel we fall short.

That mental environment is the opposite of peaceful — and peace of mind is exactly what allows sleep to return. Imagine life without milestones or deadlines. This low-stakes inner landscape is where everything we want begins to flow naturally, including sleep.

Why Time Isn’t a Measure of Recovery

People recover from insomnia in very different ways. Some sleep “normally” but spend every waking moment worrying about sleep. Others sleep little but live calm, untroubled lives. If we measured recovery by hours of sleep alone, we’d miss the point: true recovery is freedom from anxiety and pressure around sleep.

Many adults chasing solutions spend years on supplements, books, and courses, still seeing no change. Others wake in the night, think, “What if I can’t fall back asleep?” — and simply let it be. Interestingly, the latter often find relief sooner.

The key takeaway: recovery isn’t about time; it’s about letting go.

How to Gauge Your Progress

A simple way to assess where you are: notice how you respond to the statement, “There’s nothing you can do to make sure you sleep.”

  • If it makes your heart race or your mind rush to object, you’re likely at the beginning of your recovery journey — meaning there’s much understanding and relief ahead.
  • If you feel calm or a sense of acceptance, you’re nearing the end of your insomnia journey.

For the overthinking professional, this can feel counterintuitive: letting go of control, stepping away from timelines, and trusting that sleep will return on its own. Yet it’s precisely this low-pressure approach that allows deep, restorative sleep to flow naturally.

Think back to the start: you’ve accomplished so much in your life — projects completed, goals met, challenges overcome — yet sleep has remained elusive. Recovery from insomnia is just another kind of achievement, but one that isn’t earned through effort, schedules, or deadlines. It’s earned through acceptance, patience, and creating space for peace of mind.

True recovery isn’t measured in days, weeks, or months. It’s measured in how gently you can respond to sleepless nights, how freely you live despite them, and how willing you are to let go of the pressure to control the uncontrollable. As one of our trainees reminded us: “Recovery is not measured in time.”

And that simple insight — letting go of time — may be exactly what finally allows you to sleep peacefully night after night.

Dec 03
Love0

How Is Insomnia Treated?

By cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, insomnia treatment

Why a Gentler Approach to Insomnia Might Be Just What You Need

Arie, a 38-year-old father of two, never thought he’d struggle with insomnia. But after a demanding six months of sleepless nights, his search for answers led him to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). At first, he was hopeful. CBT-I promised a structured path to better sleep. Yet, when he tried stimulus control and sleep restriction—the cornerstone techniques of CBT-I—things didn’t improve. In fact, they felt worse.

“It was so rigid and controlling,” Arie shared. “Instead of helping me relax, it made me even more anxious about sleep. I started to dread bedtime.”

Arie’s experience is not uncommon. If you’ve struggled with sleep, you might have wondered, “How is insomnia treated?” While CBT-I is often the first recommendation, it isn’t the only path to finding rest. Let’s break down what CBT-I involves and explore why a gentler, less controlling approach may be just what you need.

CBT-I: The Basics

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is widely regarded as the gold standard treatment for insomnia in mainstream medicine and psychology. It’s a structured program that addresses the thoughts and behaviors surrounding sleep.

There are two key components of CBT-I:

1. Education: This involves understanding how sleep works. For example, it’s perfectly normal to wake up a few times during the night. Learning this can reduce anxiety about minor sleep disturbances, helping you feel more at ease when they occur.

2. Behavioral Changes: CBT-I introduces strategies to improve sleep, including:

  • Sleep Restriction: Limiting the amount of time spent in bed to build a stronger connection between being in bed and feeling sleepy.
  • Stimulus Control: Leaving the bed if you can’t sleep and only returning when you’re ready to fall asleep.

For some, like Arie, these strategies can feel like they’re adding pressure rather than alleviating it.

The Challenge with Behavioral Approaches

Arie described how focusing on controlling his sleep felt counterproductive. “It’s like trying to grip a bar of soap,” he said. “The tighter I held on, the more it slipped away.”

That’s the paradox of sleep. It’s a natural, effortless process, yet trying to force it can backfire. While CBT-I works for many, the behavioral components may inadvertently intensify the anxiety and hyper-focus on sleep that often fuels insomnia.

A Gentler, Less Controlling Approach

After a few weeks of trying CBT-I, Arie decided to try something different. Instead of rigidly adhering to schedules and rules, he began focusing on reducing the pressure around sleep.

This gentler approach emphasizes letting go of control and trusting the body’s natural ability to sleep. By stepping back from the constant monitoring of bedtime and wake-up time, Arie discovered something remarkable: his body knew how to sleep—it just needed space to do so.

“I stopped trying to force it,” Arie explained. “Once I let go of all the rules, I started falling asleep without even thinking about it.”

Finding What Works for You

Arie’s journey highlights an important truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to insomnia.

Whether you lean toward CBT-I or a gentler approach, the key is finding a method that helps you feel more at ease with sleep. Some people benefit greatly from the structure of CBT-I, while others find that taking a step back and relaxing their grip on sleep is more helpful.

Whatever journey you take, may it lead to where we all want to be: a place of peaceful sleep and peace of mind.

Nov 19
Love0

Can Insomnia go Away?

By Common Insomnia Questions, effortless sleep, insomnia treatment

Sophie had always been a planner. At 40, she was deeply dedicated to her family and work, but for years, insomnia had been a heavy weight she carried silently. Nights stretched long and restless, filled with worry and frustration. She tried everything—sleep hygiene routines, herbal teas, even medication—but nothing seemed to ease her struggle.

She often wondered, Will I ever sleep like I used to? Will this ever go away?

And then, something unexpected happened.

The Adventure That Changed Everything

It began with a simple invitation. A friend had dropped out of a month-long volunteer trip to Patagonia, leaving a last-minute opening. Normally, Sophie would have said no—too much to organize, too much responsibility, too worried it may make her insomnia worse. But something inside her stirred. The thought of hiking in the Andes, camping under open skies, and rediscovering herself felt both terrifying and thrilling.

So, with a mix of excitement and nerves, Sophie said yes.

The trip was nothing short of transformative. Each day was packed with challenges: navigating narrow trails, cooking over a campfire, and connecting with fellow adventurers from around the world. Her mind was consumed by the beauty of the mountains, the camaraderie of her team, and the joy of simply being.

And then, one night, Sophie noticed something incredible: she wasn’t thinking about sleep.

She lay in her sleeping bag, under a blanket of stars, and felt a peace she hadn’t known in years. Without even realizing it, she had let go of her insomnia.

Can Insomnia Go Away?

If you’ve ever struggled with sleepless nights, Sophie’s story might feel like a far-off dream. Maybe you’ve wondered the same thing she did: Can my insomnia ever go away?

The answer is yes. Insomnia can absolutely fade, whether it happens unexpectedly, like in Sophie’s case, or through a deeper understanding of how it works.

Let’s explore this together.

1. Sometimes, Insomnia Leaves on Its Own

Insomnia happens when our brain mistakenly sees wakefulness as a threat. This often begins in times of stress, when we lose sleep and think, Something’s wrong. I need to fix this. That fear of being awake starts a cycle—the harder we try to sleep, the more elusive it becomes.

But sometimes, something wonderful happens: we get distracted. When Sophie embarked on her adventure, her mind became absorbed by new challenges and joys, and her brain simply forgot to fear wakefulness.

For you, this might look different. It could be an exciting project, a new relationship, or even just a shift in perspective. When the focus moves away from sleep, peaceful nights often follow.

2. Understanding Can Bring True Freedom

While distraction can ease insomnia, lasting peace comes from understanding it. At its heart, insomnia is a misunderstanding—our brain thinking wakefulness is dangerous when it’s not.

When we stop seeing being awake as a problem to solve, we stop trying to force sleep. And when we let go of trying, sleep naturally returns.

For Sophie, her trip taught her this truth in a roundabout way. But you don’t have to go to Patagonia to find it. Simply knowing that wakefulness is harmless can shift your perspective and invite sleep to happen naturally.

3. Can Insomnia Go Away Forever?

Yes, it can. When you learn to see insomnia for what it is—a misunderstanding—and trust that there is nothing to fear, sleep no longer feels out of reach.

If Sophie had returned from her trip and started worrying about sleep again, the cycle might have restarted. But by embracing what she had learned—there was nothing to fight or fix—she found freedom. You can too.

A Kind Reminder for You

If you’ve been struggling with insomnia, know this: you are not alone, and there is hope. Insomnia isn’t permanent—it’s something that can fade, whether spontaneously or with understanding.

You don’t have to trek through mountains or leave your life behind to find peace. Sometimes, the adventure is simply learning to let go of fear and trust your body’s natural ability to rest.

Sleep will come. It always does when we stop chasing it.

So, if you’ve been asking yourself, Can my insomnia ever go away? The answer is yes. And the journey to peaceful sleep might just be one of the most meaningful adventures of your life.

Nov 12
Love0

What Does Insomnia Do to the Brain?

By Common Insomnia Questions

A common question people have about insomnia is, “What does insomnia actually do to the brain?” To answer this, let’s break it down into two parts, starting with what insomnia does not do to the brain.

What Insomnia Does Not Do to the Brain

Firstly, there’s no evidence that insomnia causes any kind of permanent damage to the brain. Research has never shown that insomnia makes us “go crazy,” become psychotic, or causes any lasting brain injury. This can be really comforting to know, especially if you’ve been lying awake at night, worrying that lack of sleep is harming you in some irreversible way.

Understanding this can be very helpful because insomnia itself stems from a fear of not sleeping. When we start to think that insomnia will cause brain damage or lead to losing control, it reinforces that fear, which then keeps insomnia going. Simply knowing that insomnia does not cause any damage can be a big relief. It’s a reassurance that while insomnia is uncomfortable and can be frustrating, it’s not harming us in any way.

What Insomnia Does Do to the Brain

So, if insomnia doesn’t damage the brain, what effect does it have? The main impact insomnia has is that it puts the brain into a state of hyperarousal. This is the brain’s response to fear and perceived threats. When we’re anxious or afraid—like when we start worrying about not sleeping—our brain shifts into a hyper-alert, hyper-vigilant state, preparing for any potential danger.

This hyperarousal is what leads to those familiar feelings of being on edge or jumpy. You might find yourself startled by small noises, noticing tiny details around you, or feeling overly sensitive to things you’d usually ignore. These reactions are the brain’s way of staying alert to potential “threats,” even if there isn’t a real danger present. In this case, the “threat” is the fear of not sleeping itself.

What’s important to remember here is that this state of hyperarousal is not a sign that something is wrong with your brain. It’s just one of the ways our brain reacts to fear. When we start to recognize that these jumpy, hyper-alert sensations are simply the result of fear, it becomes easier to understand that there’s nothing wrong or dangerous about what we’re experiencing.

Why Knowing This Can Be Helpful

Knowing that insomnia doesn’t cause brain damage and understanding why we feel hyperaroused can be very helpful for leaving the cycle of fear that insomnia is. Many people with insomnia get caught in a loop: they worry that insomnia is damaging their brain, which makes them more anxious, which makes sleep even harder to come by. But once you realize that your brain is actually okay and that these symptoms are just a part of your body’s fear response, anxiety starts to fade all by itself.

By recognizing that insomnia doesn’t do any harm and that these feelings are just part of a natural fear response, you start to feel more at ease. This sense of ease is part of fear and hyperarousal fading, making sleep happen easier and easier.

In short, insomnia may make us feel tense, hyper-alert, and more aware of things we’d usually overlook, but it doesn’t damage our brain. Knowing this automatically leads to where we want to be, a place of peaceful sleep and peace of mind.

Nov 05
Love0

What diseases cause insomnia?

By Common Insomnia Questions

If you’ve been struggling with sleep, you might find yourself lying awake at night, wondering if there’s something wrong with your body or mind. Perhaps you’ve asked yourself if a disorder or an illness is causing your wakefulness. This is a question that can be worrying and overwhelming, especially if sleepless nights have become a pattern. So, let’s unpack this together in a way that hopefully brings some clarity—and peace of mind.

Sleep Disruption vs Insomnia

Let’s start by drawing a distinction between sleep disruption and insomnia. The two are often confused but are actually very different.

Sleep disruption is when something external is causing you to have a rough night’s sleep. Maybe you’re sick with a cold, or you’ve injured yourself, or you’re going through a stressful period. In these cases, your sleep might be choppy or disturbed for a while, but it returns to baseline once the issue is resolved. It’s temporary and secondary, tied directly to something going on in your life or body, and goes away when you’re feeling better.

Insomnia, on the other hand, is an ongoing struggle with sleep that becomes self-perpetuating. It’s not just about having a few choppy nights because of a cold or stress. Insomnia stems from a fear or anxiety around sleep itself. You might find yourself lying in bed, dreading another night of tossing and turning, which in turn makes it even harder to fall asleep. This cycle is what keeps insomnia going—your worry about not sleeping fuels the problem.

So, What Diseases Cause Insomnia?

Knowing the above, we can find the surprising truth – no disease causes insomnia. Sure, many health conditions—like pain, colds, diabetes, sleep apnea, mental health struggles—can cause sleep disruption. But none of these cause you to be afraid of not sleeping. 

Insomnia starts when our brain has started thinking there’s something wrong with our sleep system, creating a fear of not sleeping.

Knowing this can be comforting. It means that if you’ve been worrying that a disease is behind your sleepless nights, you have one less thing to worry about. And when we worry less, peaceful sleep starts happening all by itself.

Oct 01
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is insomnia a problem

When is insomnia a problem?

By Common Insomnia Questions

If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering if your insomnia is something you should be worried about, you’re not alone. Many people who struggle with sleep eventually start questioning whether their situation is more than just a rough patch and whether they’re at risk for something more serious. It’s natural to want to know—how can you tell if your sleep troubles are different, if they’re a sign of something bigger, or if they call for medical concern?

Looking for answers

You might have started searching for clues, looking up how much sleep you should be getting, comparing your nights to a checklist of insomnia symptoms. Maybe you’ve wondered if missing a few hours here and there could have long-term effects on your health. Perhaps you’ve thought, “If I can’t fall asleep soon, will this take a toll on my body or mind?”

First, it’s important to remember that anyone concerned about their health should talk to a doctor. But here’s something that might surprise you—research has shown that insomnia, in and of itself, doesn’t cause negative health outcomes. It’s not about sleep deprivation leading to major health crises, like you might fear.

So when does insomnia become a problem?

The answer is simple, but often overlooked: insomnia becomes a problem when you feel it’s a problem. It’s not about the number of hours you’re missing, how many sleepless nights you’ve had, or whether you fit into a certain category of sleep disorder. Instead, insomnia is an issue when it starts interfering with your life—when it takes up mental energy, leaves you feeling drained during the day, or makes it hard to function.

At the root of it is fear.

Often, at the root of insomnia is fear—the fear of not being able to sleep. This fear activates the brain’s natural defense mechanisms, treating wakefulness at night like a threat. You try harder to sleep, you worry about the consequences of not sleeping, and ironically, this struggle keeps you awake—the more you fight it, the worse it gets.

If this sounds familiar, you might be thinking: But I want to know exactly when to worry! Is there a specific list of symptoms or a timeline that signals a serious problem? Here’s the truth: there isn’t a neat checklist or a clear point when insomnia turns into a “real problem”. The real measure lies in how it’s affecting you. 

If insomnia is making you feel unwell, anxious, or like you’re losing control of your day-to-day life, then yes—it’s a problem. But not because it’s causing harm to your body, but because it’s taking up so much space in your life.

Let go of the fight.

The good news is that the solution lies in not trying to fix insomnia forcefully. When you let go of the fight, reduce the pressure to sleep, and shift your mindset, the problem starts to fade on its own.

In the end, the question you’re asking isn’t really about a specific symptom or deadline for concern—it’s about your subjective experience. If insomnia feels like it’s disrupting your life, that’s your cue. It’s about how much mental space and emotional energy it’s consuming, rather than how long you’ve been struggling with it or how many hours of sleep you’ve missed. So, the next time you’re wondering if your insomnia is a problem, remember: it’s all about how it’s making you feel. And that’s where you’ll find your answer.

Oct 26
Love0

How is insomnia diagnosed?

By Common Insomnia Questions

Insomnia is diagnosed when a patient tells their doctor that they have difficulty staying and/or falling asleep. 

If this has happened for less than three months, the doctor will diagnose acute insomnia. 

If this has happened more than three times per week for more than three months, the doctor will diagnose chronic insomnia. 

But this probably is not what matters to you at all. 

If you’ve wondered how insomnia is diagnosed, you’ve surely also wondered if you have insomnia yourself, and how to sleep well again. 

And this is what matters to you. 

Let us therefore find out whether you have insomnia and how you’ll find peaceful sleep again. 

Do I have insomnia?

Telling you that you have insomnia is just like the formal diagnosis of insomnia, a completely subjective affair. 

In other words, neither require a blood test or a sleep study or anything besides your own experiences. 

Now remember, a doctor HAS to put a diagnosis code in their note or they will not be able to charge the payer for their work. Which is why the traditional diagnostic criteria (difficulty falling and/or staying asleep) aren’t very helpful. 

They tell us nothing about WHY we are not sleeping well. 

This is why an alternative definition can be much more helpful. 

We define insomnia as a self-perpetuating and ongoing struggle to sleep that comes from a fear of being awake, regardless of how long this has been happening.  

This definition makes a practical difference because it actually explains what insomnia is: a way in which we experience anxiety. 

If you have worried about your sleep, if you’ve wondered why you’re not sleeping, and this has kept you awake at night, then you have what we call insomnia. 

How to sleep well again 

Defining insomnia as a fear of not being able to sleep not only clarifies what we are dealing with, but also how we sleep well again: when the fear fades, so does the insomnia. 

Which leads to the logical follow up question of how we can be less scared. 

First and foremost, the answer is education. 

For example, thinking of insomnia as a poorly defined, mysterious condition that requires an extensive diagnostic work up can in itself keep us in a frazzled and sleepless way!

On the other hand, knowing that it is nothing but a misclassification whereby we have started to think of not sleeping as a threat, demystifying our experiences and seeing that we are entirely safe, now THIS leads to what we want to happen. 

Sleeping well and feeling like ourselves again.